Okay, this is probably not going to make me the most popular new blogger on Koffee-O-Matic, but I come to speak the truth and shame the devil! As a divorced mother of two, “dating” in my forties, I have noted that men are not the gentlemen they used to be. Upon further inspection of what was going on, both in my own social circle and others, I see VERY CLEARLY the reason behind their change in behavior.
WE, THE LADIES, TAUGHT IT TO THEM. Not me, don’t lump me in with this mess. I’m new to dating. I’ve been off the market for over 20 years, and the return to this mess is not something I’ll take any credit for now! However, the subject matter SHOULD be addressed.
When I was growing up, my mother told me what I should expect a man to do on a date. The rules were clear and finite. No gray areas. If a man strayed from those rules, well, no kissy kissy smoochie smoochie for you—the men knew better!
Now, ladies, you, in all your ‘Women are Equal’ efforts have undermined the one concept this old girl holds dear when dating. I DO NOT WANT TO BE TREATED EQUAL BY ANY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION. I want to be treated WAY BETTER THAN A MAN! I want to be treated like QUEEN OF THE WORLD, taken to nice dinners, entertained thoroughly, and spoken to with respect.
This can go on for a few months or more before they get to round second base, in my opinion. Women today seem to forget, we have something that a man will do anything to get. Why then are you so very willing to devalue yourself for fast food, or take in and a movie on his yucky couch? NO THANK YOU TO THAT.
Lets reclaim the power we have lost by putting ourselves to a higher standard. I actually had a man ask me to COME OVER AND WATCH A MOVIE ON HIS COUCH, HE’LL GET A PIZZA—EWE. How insulting?! Did he think I would swoon over that I wonder??
Of course he did, because there are cheap women out there, so desperate to jump into bed with any man that will do her the favor, that they no longer see what we have to offer as a precious commodity. Well, you have only yourselves to blame ladies. All women have this power over men, if only we take the time to insist that we are treated with some level of respect.
I cannot tell you how many men I have had offer this great date idea of sitting on his couch. WTH? No thank you. Just pass, wait for a man with some class and who finds you worth making an effort.
Planning a Date
Plan a special night for you both. Don’t sell yourself short. Sometimes I believe single moms like me think, “Well, I have to take whatever I can get” NOT TRUE. You are better off on your own than with some idiot that doesn’t appreciate or value you.
We CERTAINLY CAN DO MOST JOBS A MAN CAN DO—WE ARE SO LIBERATED. Well, shove me back into the 1950’s please. I like doors being held for me. I’ll stand there and look at a car door until a man remembers his manners, and gets over to open it for me!
I enjoy being treated like I am so much better than the man. I am! I am worth every penny he wants to spend on me, and you will never see me digging down into my purse on a date! If I get in my purse, you just lost your standing as a “date” and entered the FRIEND ZONE!! Men should always pay.
Ladies, if you are paying on a date, you are a fool. If a man asks you out to dinner, and you might have an interest in him, ask him, “Where would you like to take me to dinner?” If his answer is a chain restaurant like a Chili’s—or God forbid a Ruby Tuesdays—you just say, “Oh, that sort of food doesn’t agree with me,” and run like hell!
A man that is truly interested in you, will make an effort to impress you. Let’s retrain our men. Let’s make them remember why they should treat us well and, most importantly of all, let’s remind ourselves that we are WORTH THE EFFORT.
Keep Your Cookie
As Steve Harvey has said, and has never been wrong when he did so, “Keep your Cookie.” No one wants to taste a cookie that everyone in the town has had a bite out of already! Stop telling men that we are a dime a dozen!
Women have value, and in our efforts to be so EQUAL we have forgotten that we need to be treated well, spoken to with respect, and held as a very precious item they would never want to lose! Dating sucks, but I think it can be changed for the better with a little strategic planning on our parts.
Kelly Fuller Logan is a successful Entrepreneur, Marketer, and Single Mom. A co-owner of Fuller’s Floral & Gift Shoppe, in Gap Pennsylvania. Kelly is also a Marketing Consultant through the Quality Flowers Club and a Realtor at Century 21 Precision Realty in Downingtown, Pennsylvania.